MISSING

LIFE WAS LOVELY, MY SOCIAL LIFE WAS BACK ON TRACK, PEOPLE HAD MISSED ME. TEE AND I WERE DOING BETTER THAN BEFORE. I HAD NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. LIFE WAS GOOD TO ME.
SCHOOL AND I WERE NOW BEST FRIENDS I EVEN FOUND OUT THAT IF I CONCENTRATED THE UNITS WERE NOT EVEN HARD. OUR PHOTOGRAPHY BUSINESS WAS GROWING AND TEE WAS A REALLY WONDERFUL PHOTOGRAPHER. HE WAS EVEN OPENING A CYBER CAFE NOW.
WHEN LIFE IS TOO GOOD TO YOU, KNOW THAT THERE IS SOME HEARTBREAK COMING YOUR WAY. THAT WAS MY CASE. EVER SINCE THE SECOND ABORTION TEE AND I HAD NOT YET HAD SEX. ONE, I WAS GIVING MY BODY TIME TO HEAL AND I WAS NOT YET READY EMOTIONALLY TO HAVE ANY SEX. HE WAS ALSO IN NO HURRY.
MY WEED LIFE WAS ALSO ON TRACK, I LOVED WEED AND NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME QUIT EXCEPT MYSELF WHEN I DECIDED TO QUIT. I HATED ALCOHOL, I DONT LIKE BITTER TASTE.
WEED WAS MY LIFE PAUSE. TO MEDITATE AND TAKE A BREAK TO APPRECIATE LIFE AND THE UNIVERSE, PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE WHO SOLD OR SMOKED WEED, KNEW ME. BUT, NO ONE JUDGED. EVERYONE WITH THEIR OWN LIFE.
THEN CAME END MONTH AND MY PERIODS WERE MISSING, THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT ABOUT WAS THAT, THE ABORTION PILLS MESSED WITH   MY CYCLE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD BE PREGNANT WHEN I HAD NOT HAD SEX. I MEAN, I AM NOT MARY AND JESUS WAS ALREADY BORN. SO I DECIDED TO WAIT FOR THEM.

HEARTBREAK

I SPENT TWO WEEKS ALONE, THE FIRST WEEK I WAS HAPPY BUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND WEEK I WAS ALREADY DYING FROM MISSING TEE AND HE TOOK HIS TIME COZ HE CAME THE THIRD WEEK.
I WAS FEELING SO GOOD, THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH MY BODY, I DID NOT KNOW WHAT. MY BODY WAS GLOWING. MY FRIENDS JOKED THAT I WAS HAVING TOO MUCH SEX HENCE THE GLOW, AND I WOULD TELL THEM THAT SEX IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ONE GLOW.
I WAS LOVING THE ME, SCHOOL WAS STILL NOT ONE OF MY FAVORITES BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DISSAPOINT MY PARENTS PLUS I WAS NOT READY FOR THE ENDLESS NOISE THAT I WOULD HEAR FROM MY MUM AND THE CRITICISM FROM MY DAD. SO I TRIED TO FOCUS.
THE THIRD WEEK CAME AND FINALLY, TEE WAS HERE, THAT NIGHT WE TALKED AND LAUGHED AND SMOKED WEED TILL MORNING. THE NEIGHBORS WOULD COMPLAIN THAT WE WERE LAUGHING TOO LOUD AND THAT THE MUSIC WAS LOUD. EVEN IF WE TRIED TO TONE IT DOWN WE COULDN'T.
I EVEN TOLD TEE AT ONE POINT THAT HE SHOULD NOT MAKE ANY MORE JOKES, I DONT WANT TO DIE FROM LAUGHTER THOUGH IT IS A PRETTY NICE WAY TO DIE.
THE UNIVERSE HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME, IT WAS AS IF IT WAS TELLING ME TO LAUGH WHILE I CAN COZ SOON I WON'T HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY.

SCHOOLED

MY HOLIDAY WAS NOW OVER, IT FELT SO SAD, I NEVER FELT SAD LEAVING HOME, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULD BE MEETING UP WITH TEE AND I WOULD GET A BREAK FROM ALL THE FAMILY CRITICISM. BUT THIS TIME AROUND I WAS SAD, IT WAS LIKE THOSE FOUR WEEKS I GOT TOO ATTACHED TO THE PLACE AND FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE WAS SO NICE.
I PACKED SOME STUFF FROM HOME ON THE DAY I WAS SET TO GO BACK, MY MOTHER WISHED ME A SAFE JOURNEY, AND I TOLD HER I WAS GONNA MISS THEM SO MUCH. SHE SMILED AND TOLD ME NOT TO FORGET TO STUDY. IF ONLY SHE KNEW HOW I WAS PERFORMING.
I WAS GOOD AT PRACTICAL STUFF BUT THEORY ALWAYS TIED ME DOWN. I GOT BORED JUST READING ALL THAT STUFF BUT LOVED READING NOVELS, I STILL DO. A GOOD BOOK ANYTIME.
WHEN I GOT TO SCHOOL TEE WAS NOT THERE, HE HAD GONE TO VISIT HIS FAMILY TOO. I WAS GLAD THAT I WOULD HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. LIVING WITH HIM WAS FUN BUT I LOVED ALSO HAVING A LITTLE TIME TO MYSELF.
THAT NIGHT I REMINISCED ABOUT MY LIFE BEFORE I MET TEE AND HOW DRASTICALLY IT HAD CHANGED. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT TWO YEARS WERE OVER SINCE I HAD MET HIM. WHO KNEW THAT IN TWO YEARS TIME I WOULD HAVE HAD TWO ABORTIONS FROM THE MAN THAT I LOVE THE MOST IN THIS WORLD. THE INTENSITY THAT I LOVED HIM WITH SCARED ME AT TIMES.
ALTHOUGH I KNEW THAT WHEN IF I EVER FELL IN LOVE IT WOULD BE DEEP.

FAIR

THEY SAY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. BUT OURS WAS, SURE WE FOUGHT ARGUED AND EVEN INVITED SILENCE INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP BUT WE ALWAYS MANAGED TO GET BACK UP. A LOT OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BROKE US JUST KEPT US GOING STRONGER.
MY TIME AT HOME WAS FAIR, MY BODY WAS GLOWING, I MEAN I LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL, I EVEN FELT GOOD TOO AND FOR A MOMENT I FORGOT ABOUT MY GUILT AND MY MISTAKES. I MISSED TEE A LOT BUT AS THEY SAY, DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER.
YES, WE GREW JEALOUS OF EACH OTHER AT TIMES BUT WE WERE NEVER WORRIED ABOUT THE OTHER PARTY CHEATING WHENEVER WE WERE AWAY. WE WOULD JUST TALK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT LOVERS TALK ABOUT AND LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING EACH OTHER.
MY TRIP TO CHURCH TO CONFESS MY SINS NEVER HAPPENED, YES I DID GO TO CHURCH BUT I DID NOT GO TO CONFESSION, MY HEART JUST WOULDN'T LET ME. MY HEART RULES ME MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT. ACTUALLY, EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE IS BECAUSE THE HEART WANTED IT.
ITS SAFE TO SAY THAT MY EMOTIONS RULE ME, I AM VERY IMPULSIVE. TEE ALWAYS SAYS THAT I CAN CONTROL MY EMOTIONS IF I DECIDE TO, BUT HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. HE IS THE VERY OPPOSITE. HE IS RULED BY HIS MIND. WHICH IS WHY HE DOES NOT SHOW A LOT OF EMOTIONS, WHICH IS ALSO WHY I TELL HIM THAT HE HAS A HEART OF ROCK.
ACCORDING TO ASTROLOGY, WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER COZ WE ARE OPPOSITES AND OPPOSITE ATTRACT. HE IS AQUARIUS AND AM A LEO. IF ONLY HALF THE THINGS THAT ASTROLOGY TALKS ABOUT ARE TRUE. WELL AM A LEO SO I DO BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY AND BECAUSE IT IS ALL ABOUT NATURE. AND WHAT ARE WE IF NOT ONE WITH THE WORLD?
TEE HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY HE SAYS THAT THEY NEVER GIVE BAD NEWS, THEY JUST SAY WHAT ONE WANTS TO HEAR. ASTROLOGY IS ONE OF THOSE TOPICS THAT WE NEVER COME TO AN AGREEMENT WE ARGUE UNTIL WE HAVE NO MORE STRENGTH, HE DOESNT LIKE TO LOSE AN ARGUMENT AND NEITHER DO I. BUT IT IS FUN.
TO CUT THE LONG STORY SHORT MY TIME AT HOME WAS WONDERFULL, AND I WAS NOW SET TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I ACTUALLY FELT SAD TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL COZ OF HOW I WAS GOING TO MISS MY FAMILY.
FAMILY CAN BE UNBEARABLE AT TIMES BUT STILL, BLOOD IS THICKER AND THEY KNOW YOU BETTER.

ALIVE

MY TWO WEEKS WERE UP AND IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GO HOME. TEE AND I SAID OUR GOODBYES AND IT WAS A SAD DAY. I HATED SAYING GOODBYE TO HIM, THOUGH HE OFTEN SAID THAT IT WAS NOT A FOREVER GOODBYE AND I SHOULD AVOID SAYING THAT WORD.
HE TOOK ME TO THE BUS STATION AND WHEN THE BUS WAS FULL, HE LEFT. I FELT SO EMOTIONAL I ACTUALLY SHED TEARS. BUT, I HAD TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE BUT THE ONLY BRIGHT SIDE WAS THE SUN SHINING UP IN THE SKIES.
II HAD A SAFE JOURNEY AND GOT HOME LATER IN THE AFTERNOON, EVERYONE WAS HAPPY TO SEE ME AND SO WAS I HAPPY TO SEE EVERYONE. THE LOVE JUST WARMED MY HEART, MADE ME FORGET ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS THAT I HAD.
PARENTS, MOSTLY MY MUM ENQUIRED ABOUT HOW SCHOOL WAS AND I TOLD HER IT WAS FINE, NOTHING MUCH TO TELL.
I DECIDED THAT THIS TIME I WOULD CLEANSE MY SOUL, GET RID OF ALL THE GUILT I FELT. THERE WAS A PRAYER HOUSE NEAR OUR HOME, USUALLY ON FRIDAYS. I THOUGHT I SHOULD GO THERE, ONE FRIDAY WHEN I'M READY TO CONFESS ALL MY SINS.