MISSING

LIFE WAS LOVELY, MY SOCIAL LIFE WAS BACK ON TRACK, PEOPLE HAD MISSED ME. TEE AND I WERE DOING BETTER THAN BEFORE. I HAD NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. LIFE WAS GOOD TO ME.
SCHOOL AND I WERE NOW BEST FRIENDS I EVEN FOUND OUT THAT IF I CONCENTRATED THE UNITS WERE NOT EVEN HARD. OUR PHOTOGRAPHY BUSINESS WAS GROWING AND TEE WAS A REALLY WONDERFUL PHOTOGRAPHER. HE WAS EVEN OPENING A CYBER CAFE NOW.
WHEN LIFE IS TOO GOOD TO YOU, KNOW THAT THERE IS SOME HEARTBREAK COMING YOUR WAY. THAT WAS MY CASE. EVER SINCE THE SECOND ABORTION TEE AND I HAD NOT YET HAD SEX. ONE, I WAS GIVING MY BODY TIME TO HEAL AND I WAS NOT YET READY EMOTIONALLY TO HAVE ANY SEX. HE WAS ALSO IN NO HURRY.
MY WEED LIFE WAS ALSO ON TRACK, I LOVED WEED AND NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME QUIT EXCEPT MYSELF WHEN I DECIDED TO QUIT. I HATED ALCOHOL, I DONT LIKE BITTER TASTE.
WEED WAS MY LIFE PAUSE. TO MEDITATE AND TAKE A BREAK TO APPRECIATE LIFE AND THE UNIVERSE, PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE WHO SOLD OR SMOKED WEED, KNEW ME. BUT, NO ONE JUDGED. EVERYONE WITH THEIR OWN LIFE.
THEN CAME END MONTH AND MY PERIODS WERE MISSING, THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT ABOUT WAS THAT, THE ABORTION PILLS MESSED WITH   MY CYCLE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD BE PREGNANT WHEN I HAD NOT HAD SEX. I MEAN, I AM NOT MARY AND JESUS WAS ALREADY BORN. SO I DECIDED TO WAIT FOR THEM.

HEARTBREAK

I SPENT TWO WEEKS ALONE, THE FIRST WEEK I WAS HAPPY BUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND WEEK I WAS ALREADY DYING FROM MISSING TEE AND HE TOOK HIS TIME COZ HE CAME THE THIRD WEEK.
I WAS FEELING SO GOOD, THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH MY BODY, I DID NOT KNOW WHAT. MY BODY WAS GLOWING. MY FRIENDS JOKED THAT I WAS HAVING TOO MUCH SEX HENCE THE GLOW, AND I WOULD TELL THEM THAT SEX IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ONE GLOW.
I WAS LOVING THE ME, SCHOOL WAS STILL NOT ONE OF MY FAVORITES BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DISSAPOINT MY PARENTS PLUS I WAS NOT READY FOR THE ENDLESS NOISE THAT I WOULD HEAR FROM MY MUM AND THE CRITICISM FROM MY DAD. SO I TRIED TO FOCUS.
THE THIRD WEEK CAME AND FINALLY, TEE WAS HERE, THAT NIGHT WE TALKED AND LAUGHED AND SMOKED WEED TILL MORNING. THE NEIGHBORS WOULD COMPLAIN THAT WE WERE LAUGHING TOO LOUD AND THAT THE MUSIC WAS LOUD. EVEN IF WE TRIED TO TONE IT DOWN WE COULDN'T.
I EVEN TOLD TEE AT ONE POINT THAT HE SHOULD NOT MAKE ANY MORE JOKES, I DONT WANT TO DIE FROM LAUGHTER THOUGH IT IS A PRETTY NICE WAY TO DIE.
THE UNIVERSE HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME, IT WAS AS IF IT WAS TELLING ME TO LAUGH WHILE I CAN COZ SOON I WON'T HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY.

SCHOOLED

MY HOLIDAY WAS NOW OVER, IT FELT SO SAD, I NEVER FELT SAD LEAVING HOME, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULD BE MEETING UP WITH TEE AND I WOULD GET A BREAK FROM ALL THE FAMILY CRITICISM. BUT THIS TIME AROUND I WAS SAD, IT WAS LIKE THOSE FOUR WEEKS I GOT TOO ATTACHED TO THE PLACE AND FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE WAS SO NICE.
I PACKED SOME STUFF FROM HOME ON THE DAY I WAS SET TO GO BACK, MY MOTHER WISHED ME A SAFE JOURNEY, AND I TOLD HER I WAS GONNA MISS THEM SO MUCH. SHE SMILED AND TOLD ME NOT TO FORGET TO STUDY. IF ONLY SHE KNEW HOW I WAS PERFORMING.
I WAS GOOD AT PRACTICAL STUFF BUT THEORY ALWAYS TIED ME DOWN. I GOT BORED JUST READING ALL THAT STUFF BUT LOVED READING NOVELS, I STILL DO. A GOOD BOOK ANYTIME.
WHEN I GOT TO SCHOOL TEE WAS NOT THERE, HE HAD GONE TO VISIT HIS FAMILY TOO. I WAS GLAD THAT I WOULD HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. LIVING WITH HIM WAS FUN BUT I LOVED ALSO HAVING A LITTLE TIME TO MYSELF.
THAT NIGHT I REMINISCED ABOUT MY LIFE BEFORE I MET TEE AND HOW DRASTICALLY IT HAD CHANGED. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT TWO YEARS WERE OVER SINCE I HAD MET HIM. WHO KNEW THAT IN TWO YEARS TIME I WOULD HAVE HAD TWO ABORTIONS FROM THE MAN THAT I LOVE THE MOST IN THIS WORLD. THE INTENSITY THAT I LOVED HIM WITH SCARED ME AT TIMES.
ALTHOUGH I KNEW THAT WHEN IF I EVER FELL IN LOVE IT WOULD BE DEEP.

FAIR

THEY SAY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. BUT OURS WAS, SURE WE FOUGHT ARGUED AND EVEN INVITED SILENCE INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP BUT WE ALWAYS MANAGED TO GET BACK UP. A LOT OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BROKE US JUST KEPT US GOING STRONGER.
MY TIME AT HOME WAS FAIR, MY BODY WAS GLOWING, I MEAN I LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL, I EVEN FELT GOOD TOO AND FOR A MOMENT I FORGOT ABOUT MY GUILT AND MY MISTAKES. I MISSED TEE A LOT BUT AS THEY SAY, DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER.
YES, WE GREW JEALOUS OF EACH OTHER AT TIMES BUT WE WERE NEVER WORRIED ABOUT THE OTHER PARTY CHEATING WHENEVER WE WERE AWAY. WE WOULD JUST TALK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT LOVERS TALK ABOUT AND LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING EACH OTHER.
MY TRIP TO CHURCH TO CONFESS MY SINS NEVER HAPPENED, YES I DID GO TO CHURCH BUT I DID NOT GO TO CONFESSION, MY HEART JUST WOULDN'T LET ME. MY HEART RULES ME MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT. ACTUALLY, EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE IS BECAUSE THE HEART WANTED IT.
ITS SAFE TO SAY THAT MY EMOTIONS RULE ME, I AM VERY IMPULSIVE. TEE ALWAYS SAYS THAT I CAN CONTROL MY EMOTIONS IF I DECIDE TO, BUT HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. HE IS THE VERY OPPOSITE. HE IS RULED BY HIS MIND. WHICH IS WHY HE DOES NOT SHOW A LOT OF EMOTIONS, WHICH IS ALSO WHY I TELL HIM THAT HE HAS A HEART OF ROCK.
ACCORDING TO ASTROLOGY, WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER COZ WE ARE OPPOSITES AND OPPOSITE ATTRACT. HE IS AQUARIUS AND AM A LEO. IF ONLY HALF THE THINGS THAT ASTROLOGY TALKS ABOUT ARE TRUE. WELL AM A LEO SO I DO BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY AND BECAUSE IT IS ALL ABOUT NATURE. AND WHAT ARE WE IF NOT ONE WITH THE WORLD?
TEE HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY HE SAYS THAT THEY NEVER GIVE BAD NEWS, THEY JUST SAY WHAT ONE WANTS TO HEAR. ASTROLOGY IS ONE OF THOSE TOPICS THAT WE NEVER COME TO AN AGREEMENT WE ARGUE UNTIL WE HAVE NO MORE STRENGTH, HE DOESNT LIKE TO LOSE AN ARGUMENT AND NEITHER DO I. BUT IT IS FUN.
TO CUT THE LONG STORY SHORT MY TIME AT HOME WAS WONDERFULL, AND I WAS NOW SET TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I ACTUALLY FELT SAD TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL COZ OF HOW I WAS GOING TO MISS MY FAMILY.
FAMILY CAN BE UNBEARABLE AT TIMES BUT STILL, BLOOD IS THICKER AND THEY KNOW YOU BETTER.

ALIVE

MY TWO WEEKS WERE UP AND IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GO HOME. TEE AND I SAID OUR GOODBYES AND IT WAS A SAD DAY. I HATED SAYING GOODBYE TO HIM, THOUGH HE OFTEN SAID THAT IT WAS NOT A FOREVER GOODBYE AND I SHOULD AVOID SAYING THAT WORD.
HE TOOK ME TO THE BUS STATION AND WHEN THE BUS WAS FULL, HE LEFT. I FELT SO EMOTIONAL I ACTUALLY SHED TEARS. BUT, I HAD TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE BUT THE ONLY BRIGHT SIDE WAS THE SUN SHINING UP IN THE SKIES.
II HAD A SAFE JOURNEY AND GOT HOME LATER IN THE AFTERNOON, EVERYONE WAS HAPPY TO SEE ME AND SO WAS I HAPPY TO SEE EVERYONE. THE LOVE JUST WARMED MY HEART, MADE ME FORGET ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS THAT I HAD.
PARENTS, MOSTLY MY MUM ENQUIRED ABOUT HOW SCHOOL WAS AND I TOLD HER IT WAS FINE, NOTHING MUCH TO TELL.
I DECIDED THAT THIS TIME I WOULD CLEANSE MY SOUL, GET RID OF ALL THE GUILT I FELT. THERE WAS A PRAYER HOUSE NEAR OUR HOME, USUALLY ON FRIDAYS. I THOUGHT I SHOULD GO THERE, ONE FRIDAY WHEN I'M READY TO CONFESS ALL MY SINS.

LIFE

ANOTHER DAY CAME, MY BODY WAS WEAK SINCE I HAD LOST A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF BLOOD. TEE TOOK CARE OF ME, HE WOULDN'T LET ME DO ANYTHING. THIS TIME THE ABORTION DID NOT MESS WITH ME THAT MUCH BUT I STILL FELT THE WEIGHT OF WHAT I HAD DONE.
WHAT WILL BE WILL BE, I TOLD MYSELF THAT MY LIFE HAD PLANNED AND I WAS MEANT TO FOLLOW THAT PATH. MY WEED ADDICTION MOVED A NOTCH HIGHER. I WAS NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT WEED.
I MEAN I WOULD DO THINGS WITHOUT WEED BUT THEY JUST SEEMED BETTER WITH WEED. ACCORDING TO ME I HAD CONTROL, I LOVED SMOKING, I REALLY DID. AND I KNEW A DAY WOULD COME WHEN I WOULD STOP, I JUST WAS NOT SURE WHEN THAT WOULD BE BUT I KNEW FOR NOW I NEEDED IT.
TEE WELL I DONT KNOW HOW HE WAS COPING BUT HE SEEMED FINE TO ME. ALTHOUGH EVERY TIME WE WENT THROUGH A SITUATION AND HE SEEMED FINE I KNEW HE WAS DYING INSIDE. HE WAS JUST A HARD MAN TO READ AND WHEN I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS DOING ALRIGHT HE WOULD MAKE JOKES TO ESCAPE THE CONVERSATION, SO I WOULD LET HIM, I KNEW THAT WHEN HE WAS READY HE WOULD TALK.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO HOME THE WEEK I HAD THE ABORTION BUT I FIRST HAD TO COPE WITH THE SITUATION AND GET WELL PHYSICALLY BEFORE I WENT HOME, SO I GAVE MYSELF TWO WEEKS AND TOLD MY PARENTS THAT, I WOULD BE HOME AFTER TWO WEEKS.
LIFE GOES ON, THAT IS WHAT IT DOES, IT DOES NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE. I HAD TO RACE AGAINST TIME OR I WOULD LOSE MYSELF.

DONE DEAL

I WENT TO BUY THE DRUGS, WITH MY HEART HEAVY BUT STILL DETERMINED TO GO THROUGH WITH THE PROCESS. IT WAS IRONICAL FOR ME TO ASK GOD FOR A SIGN THAT I WAS NOT BARREN AND YET WHEN GIVEN THE SIGN I ABORT IT.
WHATEVER WILL COME WILL COME I AM ONLY HUMAN AND THE WORLD HAS ITS OWN RULES. ALL THE EXCUSES I WAS TRYING TO GIVE MYSELF TO FEEL BETTER I KNEW THEY WERE ALL LAME.
I MET WITH THE GUY, BOUGHT THE DRUGS AND WENT BACK HOME. NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND. WHEN I GOT HOME AS WAS THE ROUTINE I HAD A SMOKE AND THEN I TOOK THE PILLS AND WENT TO SLEEP TO CURE MY NERVOUSNESS AND GUILT AND ALSO SO THAT WHEN I WOKE UP THE DEED WOULD ALREADY BE DONE.
WHEN I WOKE UP, TEE HAD ALREADY COME HOME, I JUST FOUND HIM WATCHING A MOVIE. I DID NOT EVEN HERE HIM OPEN THE DOOR.
"HEY BABE, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" HE ASKED ME.
"I'M ALIVE," I TOLD HIM
"DID YOU EXPECT TO DIE?" HE SMIRKED
"I THOUGHT ABOUT IT" I ANSWERED HIM
"GOD HAS GIVEN YOU ANOTHER CHANCE THEN"
"I'M GRATEFUL FOR IT, I JUST HOPE I WON'T MESS UP THIS TIME"
"WE BOTH SHOULD BE CAREFUL"
"OR WE SHOULD JUST BREAK UP," I TOLD HIM
"WE ALREADY TRIED THAT BUT WE DID NOT LAST A DAY"
WE BOTH LAUGHED.
"BTW BABE HAVE A HABIT OF LOCKING THE DOOR, I HAVE KEYS WHEN I GET HOME I WILL OPEN, SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL JUST COME IN HERE WITHOUT YOU NOTICING COZ YOU SLEEP LIKE THE DEAD" HE LOOKED CONCERNED
"NO ONE WOULD DO THAT" I SMILED
"KEEP ON SMILING THE DAY YOUR LAPTOP GETS STOLEN IS THE DAY YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT" HE KNEW THAT IF HE MENTIONED MY LAPTOP MY VIEW WOULD CHANGE. I LOVED THAT LAPTOP SO MUCH IT WAS LIKE MY CHILD. HE EVEN ARGUED THAT I LOVE IT MORE THAN I LOVE HIM AND I WOULD TELL HIM IT CAME TO MY LIFE BEFORE YOU, SO THE LOVE IS JUSTIFIED.
"NICE MOVE TEE, YOU HAD TO MENTION IT," I TOLD HIM
"I KNEW THAT WOULD GET YOUR ATTENTION". WE LAUGHED AND SMOKED SOME.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED WE WERE ADDICTED TO EACH OTHER. EVERYONE IN TOWN KNEW ABOUT US WHEN EITHER TEE OR I WAS FOUND ALONE THEY WOULD ASK WHERE THE OTHER WAS. I GOT IRRITATED WITH THOSE QUESTIONS AT TIMES, I WOULD WONDER IF AM HIS KEEPER. BUT, PEOPLE WILL BE PEOPLE. THEY ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS. BUT THEY LOVED US, WE WERE PROOF THAT TWO PEOPLE COULD STAY TOGETHER.
BUT TEE OFTEN TOLD ME THAT THEY ARE JUST WAITING FOR US TO BREAK UP AND I WOULD TELL HIM THEN THEY WILL DIE BEFORE THEY SEE US BREAK UP, AND WE WOULD LAUGH INTO THE NIGHT.
I DID NOT HAVE TIME TO COOK, SO TEE COOKED SUPPER THAT EVENING AND FED ME, AS IF I WAS ABOUT TO BREAK, I APPRECIATED HIM. I KNEW HE DID THAT COZ HE CARED.
I WAS NOW BLEEDING SO I KNEW THE DRUGS WERE WORKING. EITHER WAY I KNEW TOMORROW WAS A NEW DAY FOR NEW BEGINNINGS IF GOD WILLS ME TO SEE ANOTHER DAY.

DEAD

MORNING CAME AND TEE WOKE ME UP WITH BREAKFAST.
"MORNING BABE?" HE SMILED AT ME
"MORNING" I SMILED BACK
"SLEEP WELL?"
"I SLEPT ALRIGHT" HE HELD MY HAND
"SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY, I WAS NOT SO NICE TO YOU AND TO MAKE UP FOR THAT I MADE YOU PANCAKES AND SOME EGGS, JUST THE WAY YOU LOVE THEM"
I SMILED"YOU SHOULD BE SORRY, BUT THAT WAS YESTERDAY AND TODAY IS A NEW DAY FOR NEW BEGINNINGS," I TOLD HIM
"COULD NOT AGREE MORE, NOW, HOW ABOUT YOU WAKE UP AND HAVE SOME BREAKFAST"
"I COULD JUST HAVE IT IN BED"
"NO WAKE UP"
SO, I WOKE UP AND HAD SOME DELICIOUS BREAKFAST. TEE ASKED ME IF HE COULD COME WITH ME TO GET THE PILLS AND I TOLD HIM NO, I WILL JUST GO ON MY OWN.
HE AGREED BUT NOT WITHOUT TELLING ME TO KEEP HIM UPDATED AND I TOLD HIM I WOULD. HE LEFT FOR WORK AND I WAS LEFT PREPARING MYSELF FOR THE DAY.
I CALLED THE GUY AND HE TOLD ME WHERE WE SHOULD MEET SO THAT HE COULD SELL THE PILLS TO ME.
AFTER DECIDING ON THE MEETING POINT AND THE PRICE. I TOOK A SHOWER AND ASKED GOD TO JUST FORGIVE ME BUT IF TODAY IS THE DAY I WILL DIE, I LIVED MY LIFE.

BLAME

THEY SAY WHEN YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE, THEN IT IS NO LONGER A MISTAKE BUT A CHOICE. BUT, IS IT REALLY? HERE I WAS AGAIN. THE GOOD THING ABOUT BEING PREGNANT WAS GOD WAS REPEATEDLY TELLING ME, "HEY MY DEAR, AS YOU CAN SEE YOU ARE VERY FERTILE." THAT WAS A GOOD THING I DID NOT NOW HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING BARREN. I LOVE KIDS, VERY IRONICAL CO OF THE THINGS I HAD DONE.
THIS TIME I DID NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE PREGNANCY APART FROM TEE. WHEN HE GOT HOME, I TOLD HIM.
"I'M PREGNANT," I TOLD HIM AFTER WE HAD SUPPER.
"OKAY," HE TOLD ME.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'OKAY'?" I ASKED HIM
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD USE CONDOMS OR YOU GET CONTRACEPTIVES BUT YOU REFUSED."
"I KNOW THAT AND I WILL STILL NOT USE EITHER OF THE TWO"
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU SHOULD HAVE DENIED ME SEX THEN" HE LOOKED AT ME
"ARE YOU SERIOUS, YOU ARE BLAMING THIS ON ME, NEED I REMIND YOU, YOU WERE A WILLING PARTICIPANT IN THE CREATION OF THIS BABY" I WAS NOW GETTING FURIOUS.
"I DONT DENY THAT." HE TOLD ME
"SO?" I ASKED HIM.
"IT DOES NOT MATTER WHETHER I WANT THE BABY OR NOT, IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT"
"I CANT HAVE THE BABY, I'M NOT READY YET"
"OKAY THEN, WILL YOU GO BACK TO THE SAME GUY OR DO YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS THIS TIME," HE ASKED ME
"STOP BEING SARCASTIC AND YES I WILL JUST GO BACK TO THE SAME GUY TO GET THE PILLS"
"OKAY. I WILL GIVE YOU THE MONEY" WE SAT IN SILENCE.
THEN HE ASKED ME "HOW OLD IS THE BABY?"
"THREE WEEKS" I ANSWERED HIM
"AFTER THIS WE WILL HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL, WE JUST CAN'T GO ON KILLING OUR UNBORN CHILDREN AND YET WE WANT TO HAVE KIDS IN FUTURE"
"I KNOW, BELIEVE ME, I DONT LIKE IT EITHER"
WE PUT ON SOME MUSIC AND WE EACH GOT LOST IN OUR THOUGHTS, AS IF NATURE HAD A MESSAGE FOR US, IT STARTED RAINING AND IT WAS A LONG AND COLD NIGHT.

DAMAGED

AS I WAS WALKING HOME FROM THE DOCTORS I FELT LOST. I COULD NOT NOTICE ANYTHING ON MY WAY I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BEING GROWING INSIDE ME. I WAS VERY CAREFUL BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL THE BODY HAS ITS OWN RULES YOU ARE JUST A HOST.
I FIRST DECIDED TO GO SMOKE SOME WEED AND SEE IF NATURE WILL GIVE ME THE ANSWER TO MY QUESTION. ALTHOUGH I ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. I JUST DID NOT WANT TO GET INTO IT RIGHT AWAY. I NEEDED TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT FIRST.
AFTER ONE JOINT, I WENT TO A RESTAURANT HAD SOMETHING TO EAT, BOUGHT SUPPER AND WENT BACK HOME. I HATED THE DECISION THAT I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE, BUT MAYBE MY LIFE HAD ALREADY BEEN PLANNED TO TAKE THIS ROUTE.
THERE IS A SAYING THAT "IF YOU WANT TO MAKE GOD LAUGH, TELL HIM YOUR PLANS."
I COOKED SOME SUPPER AND WAITED FOR TEE TO COME HOME SO THAT I COULD GIVE HIM THE NEWS.

AGAIN

AFTER THE MEETING WITH MY PARENTS, IT WAS ONLY ONE WEEK TO OPENING SCHOOL. I WAS TO JOIN MY THIRD YEAR SECOND SEMESTER. I WAS NOW USED TO SCHOOL BUT I WAS STILL NOT DOING THAT WELL.
I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL IT WAS THE SEPT-DECEMBER  SESSION. TEE AND I WERE DOING OKAY AND I MANAGED TO LEAVE HOME WITH MY PARENTS NOT KNOWING I WAS DOING WEED.
SEMESTER KICKED OFF WELL, I WAS NOW ATTENDING AT LEAST 40% OF MY CLASSES.
WE HAD MORE AND MORE SEX WITH TEE. I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS SAFE HAVING SEX ONLY ON MY SAFE DAYS BUT NATURE HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME. IT WAS ABOUT TO PROVE TOME THAT MY JOURNEY HAD JUST BEGUN.
AT MID-SEMESTER I MISSED MY PERIODS AND IAT FIRST I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE THEY WERE LATE, BUT DEEP DOWN I KNEW I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN. MY PERIODS WERE NEVER LATE THEY WERE LIKE CLOCKWORK.
I GAVE THEM THREE DAYS AND WHEN THEY DID NOT SHOW UP I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST AND IT WAS POSITIVE.  I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT SO I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT I WAS THREE WEEKS PREGNANT.
LIFE WAS TEACHING ME A LESSON THAT I WAS NOT READY TO LEARN.

PARENT

MY MUM DID NOT SAY ANYTHING TO TEE HE JUST SAID HELLO AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. NORMALLY MY MUM DOES NOT SAY A LOT. BUT I WILL BE LEFT ANSWERING SOME QUESTIONS.
SO AFTER WE HAD SUPPER I TOLD TEE IT WAS TIME TO GO, I WAS TO TAKE HIM TO THE STAGE AND WE WENT ON TALKING, HE ASKED HOW I WAS DOING AND I TOLD HIM I COULD NOT COMPLAIN THAT LIFE WAS ALRIGHT.
JUST AS WE REACHED THE STAGE WE MET WITH MY DAD MY INITIAL THOUGHT WAS TO PRETEND THAT I HAD NOT SEEN HIM BUT I KNEW THAT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE.
I TOLD TEE THAT WE SHOULD GO AND SAY HELLO, SO WE WENT HE WAS AT A BUTCHERY BUYING SOME MEAT, HE ASKED TEE A LOT OF QUESTIONS AND I KNEW HE WOULD DO THAT.
TEE HANDLED THEM PRETTY WELL BUT WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DOES HE LIED AND SAID THAT HE WAS AT AN ATTACHMENT WITH SAMSUNG. I DONT KNOW IF MY DAD KNEW THAT WAS A LIE BUT IF HE DID, HE DID NOT GIVE IT AWAY.
MY MUM DOES NOT LIKE ME HOOKING UP WITH ANYONE WHO HAS NOT BEEN IN SCHOOL, SO IF HE KNEW TEE WAS A DROP OUT HE WOULD NOT HAVE LET ME HEAR THE END OF IT.
I BID TEE GOODBYE AND WENT BACK HOME WITH MY DAD. WHEN WE GOT HOME MY MUM ASKED WHO HE WAS, WHERE WE MET AND WHAT DOES HE DO. I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM APART FROM THE FACT THAT HE WAS A DROP OUT AND OF COURSE ID DID NOT TELL HER THAT HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND I JUST SAID THAT HE WAS A FRIEND.

PARENT

MY FIRST SEMESTER THIRD YEAR PASSED WITH NO ISSUES. I WAS SLOWLY LEARNING TO DEAL WITH MY SITUATION. THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS I WAS HOOKED ON WEED. BUT, I DID NOT SEE IT AS A PROBLEM ON MY PART. MY FRIEND THOUGH SHE DID, SHE KEPT PESTERING ME ABOUT IT EVERY OPPORTUNITY SHE GOT. SHE EVEN TOLD HER MUM. HER MUM KNEW ME WELL.
I WENT TO VISIT HER AT HOME AND SHE JUST ASKED ME, "CHERRY, WHY DID YOU MOVE OUT OF THE HOSTEL AND WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED?" I WAS SO EMBARRASSED I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, I JUST TOLD HER THAT I WOULD STOP, IT WAS JUST SOMETHING TO DO  FOR FUN.
MY PARENTS DID NOT KNOW I MOVED OUT, OF THE HOSTEL, THEY STILL THOUGHT I LIVED THERE, I WAS ALWAYS ON MY TOES COZ ANYTIME THEY THOUGHT OF VISITING ME THEY WOULD GO STRAIGHT TO THE HOSTEL AND FIND OUT THAT I NO LONGER LIVED THERE.
LUCKY ME THEY NEVER CAME TO VISIT AND I MADE SURE I DONT GIVE THEM A REASON TO COME, SO I WENT HOME REGULARLY.
I WENT HOME FOR THE HOLIDAY BREAK AND OPENED UP TO A FRIEND OF MINE, ABOUT MY SITUATION WITH WEED. I DID NOT MENTION THE ABORTION. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE ALSO SMOKED AND SHE COULD HOOK ME UP WITH HER DEALER.
I WAS ELATED, NOT ONLY DID I SMOKE WEED AT SCHOOL BUT NOW EVEN AT HOME. MY PARENTS DID NOT NOTICE, BUT MY SISTER DID. MY SISTER, SHE HAD THE REPUTATION OF BEING BAD, EVERYTHING BAD THAT WAS DONE AT HOME IT WAS ALWAYS HER FAULT. I WAS THE GOOD GIRL.
I BECAME CARELESS AND LEFT A JOINT THAT I HAD NOT FINISHED SMOKING INSIDE THE MATCHBOX, SO MY MUM FOUND IT AND BLAMED MY SISTER FOR IT. SHE ASKED HER WHY SHE HAD STARTED SMOKING WEED. MY SISTER DID NOT SAY ANYTHING SHE CALLED HER FRIEND AND TOLD HER TO TALK TO MY SISTER AND SHE ALSO SAID SHE WOULD TAKE HER TO THE PRIEST SO THAT SHE CAN BE PRAYED FOR.
MY SISTER ACCEPTED THE BLAME SHE DID NOT SAY THAT IT WAS NOT HERS. SO I OWED HER ONE NOW. THAT WAS HOW THE FAMILY WORKED. MY MUM WAS A STAUNCH CATHOLIC. SO YOU CAN IMAGINE THE SHOCK.
TEE CAME HOME TO VISIT ME AND MY SISTER LOVED HIM, NORMALLY SHE DOES NOT LIKE ANYONE BUT SHE SEEMED TO HIT IT OFF WITH TEE, SHE EVEN BEGAN CALLING HIM HER BIG BROTHER.
I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THAT, AT LEAST SHE HAD SOMEONE ELSE TO TALK TO OTHER THAN ME SINCE WE FOUGHT A LOT.
EVENING CAME AND TEE HAD NOT YET LEFT, SO MY MUM FOUND HIM AT HOME AND OH BOY, I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. MAY YOUR YEAR BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND PEACE.