SIGHT

AS I LEFT THE HOSPITAL, MY HEART WAS BROKEN INTO A ZILLION TINY PIECES. BUT I WAS GLAD THAT THAT PART OF MY LIFE WAS NOW OVER. AS I STEPPED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL GATE MY VIEW OF THE WORLD HAD CHANGED, I NOW SAW LIFE IN A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, NOT THE SAME WAY I DID BEFORE. I LOOKED AT ALL THOSE PEOPLE GOING AROUND WITH THEIR DAILY ACTIVITIES, NO ONE CARED ABOUT WHAT I HAD DONE, NO ONE EVEN KNEW.
"BABE?" I LOOKED BACK AND STARED AT THAT HOSPITAL HARD, ESPECIALLY THE BALCONY. I LOOKED AT IT AND REMEMBERED HOW I WAS CLUTCHING MY STOMACH AND WRITHING ON THAT FLOOR LAST NIGHT DUE TO THE PAIN I FELT.
"BABE?" I REMEMBERED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT. HOW DISGUSTED AND AFRAID I WAS.
"BABE?" I SNAPPED OUT OF MY REVERIE AND WOKE UP TO TEE CALLING ME
"YES?"
"I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOU LIKE A MILLION TIMES"
"STOP EXAGGERATING BABE, I WAS JUST THINKING."
"ABOUT?"
"YOU KNOW WHAT ABOUT"
"I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT EITHER BUT FIRST YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME BREAKFAST"
"YES, AGREED, I AM STARVING" SO, WE WENT TO A RESTAURANT AND I HAD SOME TEA.
"BABE, I CAN'T STOP SEEING HIS TINY BODY AND THAT TINY FACE," I TOLD TEE
"I KNOW YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN IN WAYS I CANT IMAGINE, BUT YOU KNOW LIFE HAS TO GO ON"
"I KNOW, BUT THIS TIME IT WILL TAKE ME CENTURIES TO FORGET THAT"
"THERE IS NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE IF WE HAD NOT TRIED THE FIRST TIME WE WOULD HAVE HAD HIM. BUT WHAT IF THE PILLS MESSED WITH HIS GROWTH AND ASSUMING YOU GAVE BIRTH TO HIM AND EVERY TIME HE HAD A HEALTH PROBLEM YOU WOULD WATCH HIM SUFFER AND IT WOULD REMIND YOU OF WHAT YOU DID, THAT ITS YOUR FAULT HE IS GOING THROUGH ALL THESE PROBLEMS?
COULD YOU HANDLE THAT?"
"NO"
"I KNOW IT HURTS, I FEEL BAD TOO. BUT WE WILL HAVE MORE BABIES, YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOURSELF AT SOME POINT"
"I KNOW BABE, I JUST DONT KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE ME THIS TIME"
"THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ALREADY THINKING ABOUT IT IS WORK IN PROGRESS, NOW, LET'S HAVE SOME BREAKFAST."
SO WE DRANK OUR TEA, TEE TRIED MAKING ME LAUGH WITH A FEW JOKES, I APPRECIATED THE EFFORT AND I DID LAUGH A LITTLE BIT. AND I GOT LOST IN MY HEAD AGAIN.