SECOND CHANCE

I HAD DECIDED NOT TO HAVE SEX AGAIN. JUST LIKE THE DAY NEEDS THE SUN, SO DID MY BODY NEED A DOSE OF ITS OWN MEDICINE. IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR ME TO GO BACK TO THE ACT. THERE IS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT SEX YOU CANT STAY AWAY FROM IT, ONCE YOU TASTE IT, YOU NEVER GO BACK.

WHEN I FIRST TOLD TEE THAT WE WOULD NOT HAVE ANY MORE SEX AFTER THE ABORTION, HE LAUGHED AND SAID, "YOU WILL COME BEGGING ME FOR SOME"

I LAUGHED TOO AND SAID, "OH WE WILL SEE WHO WILL COME BEGGING THE OTHER". WE ACTUALLY STAYED FOR TWO MONTHS WITH NO SEX, LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE AND SLEEPING ON THE SAME BED, YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE THE AGONY. AND THE BODIES BEING HOT FOR EACH OTHER THEY HAD TO BE COOLED DOWN.

ONE NIGHT WE WERE AT HOME, WITH SOME WEED, MOVIES AND OF COURSE FOOD. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT WHY HE DRUNK SO MUCH AND HE OPENED UP TO ME THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THE ABORTION MESSED WITH AND HE WAS SORRY FOR THE WAY HE HAD BEEN BEHAVING LATELY.

AS LOVE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO STAY ANGRY, I FORGAVE HIM. HE WAS NOT ONE REALLY OPEN WITH HOW HE FELT. AND HE WAS NOT A DRUNK. SO I FELL FOR HIM ALL OVER AGAIN.  AND WE WERE BACK IN GOOD TERMS AGAIN, LAUGHING AND JOKING AND ENJOYING LIFE AND WEED OF COURSE. TEE WAS A GOOD GUY, I MEAN HE WAS THE BEST, NOT PERFECT OF COURSE HE HAD HIS OWN FAULTS, BUT IN MY HEART AND SOUL HE WAS THE LIFE.

I WAS NOW IN MY FIRST SEMESTER, THE THIRD YEAR, SCHOOL NO LONGER MEANT ANYTHING TO ME. I JUST WENT SO THAT I CAN FINISH UP MY STUDIES GET THAT CERTIFICATE AND CLOSE THAT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE. I WAS FEELING AS IF I HAVE BEEN SPENDING MY WHOLE LIFE IN SCHOOL.

A COUPLE OF  MY FRIENDS WHOM WE JOINED THE SCHOOL TOGETHER HAD ALREADY DROPPED OUT, I DID NOT WANT TO DROP OUT BUT I WAS WISHING I DID SOMETHING ELSE. GETTING TO UNIVERSITY MADE ME SEE THAT PEOPLE EXAGGERATED THE SITUATION. 

SO THAT NIGHT AFTER TALKING AND GETTING HIGH, WE JUST GOT STRAIGHT INTO THE ACT AND OOH IT FELT SO GOOD, FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE CLOUDS LOOKING DOWN AT THE EARTH. IN A HAPPY PLACE. IT WAS LIKE THE MEDICINE THAT I NEEDED. WE WERE NOW IN EACH OTHER'S GOOD GRACES. THE SEX WAS ALSO UNPROTECTED AGAIN. BUT I DID NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT AGAIN THAT NIGHT. THAT NIGHT I JUST WANTED TO ENJOY THE NIGHT LIKE I WAS NEVER GOING TO LIVE AGAIN.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS WITH LOVE.